Have you ever wondered why we kiss? Have you ever wanted to do it better?
Ok this starts off pretty gross. Whilst we might think of kissing as a sexual act and give our partners slobbery wet snogs, French-style, scientists actually think that kissing comes from parents chewing up food and passing it to the toothless youngsters back when we didn’t have blenders. These devoted primate mothers would pass on the act through evolution until we started using kissing as a way to improve social bonding and show our affection to each other.
Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
Obviously, we no longer need to pass food through kissing as we have blenders and supermarkets, but kissing has changed and it is no longer an act of sustaining life. Scientists who study kissing, or Philematologists (yes, that is a real thing), think that we now pass information to potential sexual partners via our kisses and they found that there are huge differences when it comes to how men and women appreciate kissing. In large kissing studies, the scientists found that apparently, men don’t care too much about the kiss and women care too much. They think that a woman can learn more about a man from the kiss than the other way around.
So that’s the science bit done; now for the reason you clicked on the link – how to kiss better. So my girlfriend will certainly testify that I am not the best kisser in the world, even less so since I grew a badass beard and my lips are hard to find but I know a trick or two. I also asked a few ‘experts’ and friends for their advice and came up with these helpful tips and tricks to surprise your significant other.
The kiss itself is immortal. It travels from lip to lip, century to century, from age to age. Men and women garner these kisses, offer them to others and then die in turn.
—Guy de Maupassant
Tip No.1 – Keep it Fresh
The basics first; if you are going on a date, and this goes for both men and women, take some minty gum with you. Try to avoid foods with too much garlic, or anything else that might be smelly, and drink water after the meal. Pop in a mint chewing gum after the meal and if you end up smooching, your partner will appreciate the effort because there is nothing worse than kissing someone with dog-breath. We have all been there and it is a total turn off that will not lead to another rendezvous.
Tip No.2 – Don’t rush it
I am going to sound like a total woman here, but kissing is about more than just eyes-closed tonsil-wrestling. You should engage ALL of the senses, before during and after the kiss. You will both appreciate the moment so much more if you do this. Breathing is important, as long as your breath is fresh, and you should breathe on your partner’s neck a little first. Try and build the anticipation instead of diving straight in and show them that you have self-control and confidence; confidence is super sexy. Sight, smell and touch should all be engaged as you perhaps brush the hair off her shoulders. Notice the smells (wear perfume/deodorant) and enjoy the whole experience.
Tip No.3 – Don’t rush it
An open mouthed kiss is always more sensual and if done correctly, can lead to something more. If it feels right, explore with the tongue and if reciprocated, slide lightly and gently against their tongue but watch out for saliva. It obviously needs to be lubricated but you don’t want to be dribbling all over them.
“Too little saliva is dry and unsatisfying but too much will make you gag. Best to start off conservative and increase the dose until you find the amount that makes both of you breathe a little faster.”
Pay attention to your partner
Ok so you’ve seen the Twilight saga (a few hundred times) and you imagine every kiss will turn out brilliantly; unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way and sometimes, as much as you want it to, you don’t quite click. Make sure you understand when she or he wants to pull away and don’t force anything. Even if the kiss is going superbly and you have your partner weak at the knees, ensure you don’t get too carried away and maintain your composure. If you want to take it further, go for it, but wait until you get back to where you are going.
Keep the kissing going
Decide if you want to take the kissing further or not. If it’s the first date and you want to keep him waiting, or you’re an honest guy who wants an honest girl, don’t keep the kissing going for too long; you will just be teasing yourselves. If you are going to take things further, passionate kissing makes it easier for you to.. erm (I’m British and this is difficult to write) shhh – orgasm. Good kissing elevates the blood pressure and causes all sorts of chemical reactions in a woman’s body that encourages.. well, allows for.. you get what I mean – keep kissing!
Fingers crossed you will be doing it like this before long:
Well that got awkward towards the end. But I think I maintained my dignity. I hope that these tips help you! Let me know in the comments below if you have your own tips for a better smooch. Or share and like on Facebook if you like my work! Thank you!